There are times when a person can feel so exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically that he just wants to give up. Hope seems to have abandoned him, faith seems to have left him stranded, and joy evaporated like a mist. Apathy befriends him, and he ceases to care about pleasure, fame, fortune, or even life itself. The only thing he really wants is to be pulled out of the game—for the boney hand of death to knock on his door.
Typically, I suppose, these feelings of utter depletion are a result of the constant hits in life (quarrels, stress, fear, rejection, loneliness, sense of meaninglessness, devalued, etc), and the feeling of having nothing else worthwhile to give. Sometimes such feelings can come from a chemical imbalance within the brain. There are a number of factors that can contribute to a person’s depression, death wish, and suicidal contemplations.
Such feelings affect persons from every walk of life. Like cancer, depression is no respecter of persons. It does not care about gender, color, religion, class, nationality, sexual orientation, age, etc. Perhaps as you are reading this depression has you entangled in its web. Please know that your feelings are not unique; there is nothing strange or devaluing if you are struggling. You are actually in good company with those who either feel, or have felt, the suffocation of depression.
It might surprise you to learn that one of God’s own prophets, one whom God used in incredible ways, fell into a major depression and prayed that God would take his life. After an astonishing victory and breathtaking display of God’s power, this prophet felt like a complete failure.
[Elijah] went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” ~ 1 Kings 19:4
No doubt Elijah had come down from an adrenaline rush—he had witnessed one of the most spectacular miracles recorded in the Scriptures. Added to this, he was tired from running, he was hungry, and he feared for his life. His was a fail-proof concoction for depression.
As the chapter continues, God begins gently speaking to His prophet. Elijah is not rebuked for his depression, he is not accused of having lack of faith. Before the Lord addresses the deeper issues, He makes sure Elijah eats and rests. The physical needs were addressed before the emotional and spiritual. After eating and resting, Elijah was in a better position to hear the Lord. Note, he heard God within the quietness, not in the noise and clamor.
In a person’s depression, the voices in their head scream accusations and criticisms. The voices taunt and mock, seeking to deepen one’s sense of despair.
O Lord, how many are my foes!Many are rising against me; many are saying of my soul, “There is no salvation for him in God.” ~ Psalm 3:1-2
There may or may not be elements of truth to what is being screamed in one’s mind; that is, an individual might have failed, made a mess of things, etc. However, a person never fails so badly that God’s love, mercy, and grace cannot get him safely through. As Corrie ten Boom would say, “There is no pit so deep God’s love is not deeper still.” In the midst of the screams, the voice of the Lord will be as a “soft whisper,” bidding us to draw near to Him. Although He might bring to our attention where we have sinned or erred, His purpose is always redemptive. God’s voice will never be the one calling us a failure, disgrace, trash, etc. God’s voice will never urge a person to harm themself.
The Bible says God is our Abba [daddy], Father. A loving parent will correct—even discipline—but it is always for the ultimate wellbeing of their child. This is how God loves us.
Jesus tells us,
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” ~ John 3:16-17
I do not know who might read this. You might be a loner or the popular person; rich or poor; a worn out spouse and/or parent; a student; etc. You might feel pressed on all sides, and confused to the point of despair. Maybe you know exactly what it feels like to want to be “taken out of the game.” If possible, take some time to eat and rest. In the midst of all the voices assailing your mind with crushing thoughts, listen for His still small voice bidding you to look to Him, gently whispering His love and care for you. You are loved, you are needed, and you are of great value. If necessary, rest on the bench, but stay in the game!