20 Ways to Improve Your Happiness

We live in a time—despite all the advancements—when so many feel lonely, angry, anxious, and depressed. Many people are simply not happy, let alone joyful. I admit, I have experienced bouts of depression. The following list, although won’t cure a person of unhappiness, are of great help in maintaining a measure of happiness. 

  1. Be grateful. Many of us have far more than we realize, and sadly, we live in a day when many feel they are “entitled” to having things. However, the reality is we are to work and contribute to society. Furthermore, the world is unfair. Some have more, whether money and/or opportunities. Still, many of us have more than others. Learn to be grateful for the job, schooling, food, health, etc. you do have.
  2. Help others. It is true that some people suffer more than others, but no one goes through life without experiencing some form of pain, loneliness, loss, heartache, fear, etc. Take time to visit the lonely at an elderly care center, minister to the poor at a food shelter, or help out at a youth program. You just might find that as you help others, you are helped in return.
  3. Forgive. Perhaps nothing else impales one’s own soul as a sword than that of bitterness and the refusal to forgive. Strangely, forgiveness has little to do with perpetrators but with the wounded. One does not forgive for the sake of the offender but for one’s own sake. To forgive is not that the offender is set free, but allowing one’s own self to heal and be set free. If you refuse to forgive, the one you’ll torment is yourself. Your bitterness and unhappiness will only deepen and tighten until you are willing to forgive.
  4. Appreciate the “little” things. Take the time to “smell the roses.” There are many blessings we receive that have no monetary value but can so enrich our lives if we take the time to appreciate them. For example, a cup of coffee in the morning, a warm shower, shared laughter with a friend, an encouraging word, a warm smile from a stranger, a door held open as a kind gesture, the love of dog, a beautiful morning, etc. Appreciating the “little” things will do wonders.
  5. Don’t surrender to fear. Each of us experience fear from time to time; however, there are those who are afraid every day. They trust no one, they’re afraid of catching Covid, they’re afraid of the future, they’re afraid of running out of money, they’re afraid of dying, etc. Such fears torment them daily. So tormented are they of what could, but unlikely will, happen that they can’t enjoy the present. Jesus tells us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matt. 6:33-34).
  6. Smile and laugh more. There are those who take life so seriously they’ve forgotten how to laugh. There are some Christians who seem to think it’s a sin to laugh and find enjoyment. Granted, there is a time to weep and a time to be serious. But there are also times to laugh and experience festivity. Enjoy the laughter and silliness of friends, the birth of a child, marriages of friends, and baptisms of others. These, too, are gifts from God to be received with thanksgiving.
  7. Extend and receive kindness and respect. One of my pet peeves os people who have no problem treating others like dirt but expect to be treated with respect. Learn to treat others with kindness and respect. So what if they’re a doctor or janitor, a man or woman, an adult or child, black or white, rich or poor, religious or non-religious? Treat everyone as persons who are created in the likeness of their Creator. For that is what each of us is, nothing more and certainly nothing less.
  8. Learn to be content. This is a difficult one that takes time—learning to be content no matter one’s situation. The apostle Paul writes, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11-13).
  9. Trust God’s promises. The Bible does not promise things will always go our way, but tells us to expect difficult times. After all, we live in a fallen world. Still, for the redeemed who truly love God, He gives this promise: “for those who love God all things work together for good, good day for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
  10. Delight in God. The psalmist doesn’t deny the the fact that the wicked often prosper, etc, but he also warns against being envious of them for their time of judgment will come. Instead, he says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4). The things our hearts truly long for the things of this world cannot satisfy.
  11. Let go of your hurts (don’t live as a victim). There are some who forever nurse their hurts and hardships, constantly blaming others for their misery. This is not to say the hurts or past injustices are not real, but persons refuse to move on, to heal, to stop blaming. Instead, they live life as a victim rather than striving to become a conqueror. To do so requires work, but it can be done. Having a victim mentality will only perpetuate unhappiness.
  12. Stop criticizing yourself. Learn to accept yourself. Stop calling yourself stupid, ugly, clumsy, worthless, and unlovable. Each of us have faults and weaknesses, but we also have strengths and skills uniquely given by God. Paul says we are like members of a body, some applauded others hidden, some attractive some less attractive—but each is vital. (see 1 Cor. 12:12-26). Excel as the person God created you to be.
  13. Let go of the past. There are those who are so stuck in the past they cannot enjoy the present. For some, it’s because of abuse, while for others it’s because the past was their glory days. Let go of the past. No, you might not ever forget it, but learn to be present in the present. Glory in the blessings of the moment. Allow yourself to heal. Become someone’s hero today, even if you don’t hear an applause.
  14. Don’t let regrets define your future. Many of us have regrets and have done things we’re now ashamed of. Much of life is learned through trials, errors, and hard knocks. But these should help us to learn, grow, and improve. No, we’re not who or what we had hoped to be or hope to become. Paul, writes, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14).
  15. Understand that you are not a mistake. No matter your situation, failures, guilt, or shame, you are no accident. In Christ, there is complete redemption for those who genuinely desire it and receive it by faith. The psalmist writes, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb” (Ps. 139:13). And we read in Acts, “And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us” (17:26-27). We find our greatest joy when we know Him and understand our purpose and being.
  16. Don’t be so easily offended by differing opinions. Some people allow their whole worlds to be unraveled because others have differing views and opinions. Why? And just because someone disagrees doesn’t make them a bigot, xenophobe, or any other kind of (?)-phobe. Even if they are, so what? So many are busy starting fires or adding fuel to them. Again, why? While there is a time to speak up, there is also a time to hold your peace. Knowing the difference requires wisdom. There is a peace that can come when one minds his own business and allows others to have a completely different view.
  17. Quit complaining. Most people complain from time to time, but some people complain all the time, like a Goldilocks who never finds a “just right.” The weather is either too hot or too cold. The atmosphere in a restaurant is too loud, the food is either over or undercooked, the waitress is too slow, the menu is too expensive, etc. There is always something to diminish the beauty of anything. Complainers lack both gratitude and appreciation. Complainers miss the 97% of positivity because they are fixated on the 3% negativity. If you want to improve your happiness, quit complaining about everything. 
  18. Get some sunlight. There are numerous benefits of sunlight, but one is it helps boost the body’s release of serotonin, which helps a person’s mood.
  19. Exercise. This should be a no-brained, but exercise is good for a person physically and mentally. It doesn’t need to be strenuous, just going out for a walk and getting some fresh air is good for the spirit.
  20. Turn off the news and social media. Last but not least, for goodness’ sake, turn off the news and social media. Rarely are politicians honest, and celebrities are not the gods and goddesses they think themselves to be. Furthermore, not everyone is fighting like piranhas in a frenzy. Not everyone is a criminal. Most people’s lives are not picture perfect, and there is still a lot of beauty and kindness in the world. 

Life is filled with trials and pain, but in and through Christ even these can be redeemed and be seeds to later joy. Again, this list is not a cure for unhappiness; however, if you look beyond yourself and put these things into practice, then you will find a measure of genuine happiness and joy. Do these and refuse to be a victim of your own unhappiness.

When You Don’t Know What to Pray

My friends, there are many joys and blessings that are given to followers of Christ, but there are also many frustrations and heartaches experienced by individuals yielding to Him. Many know what it is like to lose friends—even within church settings—when they are serious about the Bible and their walk with Christ. Sometimes God permits dreams to be dashed into pieces or desires unfulfilled. Sometimes God allows things to happen which breaks one’s heart to the core. 

When these happen, one can find himself in a place of not knowing what to pray. After all, he has prayed many times, and he has confessed of any known sin. Why bother praying? What good is it? 

We are far more stubborn, idolatrous, and autonomous than we care to think or admit. While I am not saying every hurt which comes is a result of these, but we must take these into consideration. Jesus desires for us to desire Him above all else, but if we are honest there are often plenty of other desires and loves surpassing our desire and love for Him. It is easy to sing a song saying that He is all we want or need, but when one had persons, things, plans, hopes, and dreams taken from him, his sincerity of passionate singing is put to the test. What is one’s honest reply when God speaks to him, “Child, you still have Me”? It’s okay for the heart to break and for a person to experience grief. This comes with being human. God is not angry with a person feeling disappointed. sad, or even angry necessarily. However, will a person continue to trust God, and even love Him, despite the inner ache? Every true saint must experience this to some degree. But what does one do when they are so broken and wearied that they just don’t know what to pray?

We are like wild stallions who must be broken if we would desire to be used for God’s good purposes, and one of His good purposes is to conform us to the image of His Son—to make us more like Jesus. This is a painful process of squeezing, molding, pruning, chipping, grinding, and purging. Are you and I willing to let Him do what only He can do? Will you and I yield trustingly to Him, knowing He is God and we are not? Still, what if we do not know what to pray? We are told,

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ~ Romans 8:26-27

Go ahead and groan wordlessly. Cry, mourn, and grieve. Yield to the breaking, for it serves Kingdom purposes. If you and I should desire to be like Jesus, can we be so without hurt, disappointment, or suffering? Isaiah says, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,” (53:3). And just as we benefit from His suffering (see Isa. 53:4-6), so others are helped by ours. We are told elsewhere,

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

When you and I go through difficult situations, bombarded by perplexity, hounded by questions, and frustrated by the agony God gives comfort in mysterious ways. Sometimes all this seems senseless, heartless, and arbitrary. Yet, God brings you and I into the lives of others experiencing these, and we are able to be ministers to them, applying the balms of both grace and empathy.

What does any of this have to do with prayer? Everything! We are utterly dependent on God, but too often we really do not believe this. But when we do, we don’t always know how or what to pray. This is okay. Just groan. The Holy Spirit will intercede through these, and conform us more into the likeness of Christ in the process.

Money, sex, power, empty praise, and junk awards—are these really worth the striving for? Is sacrificing one’s being simply to attain these for a measly few years truly worth it? Through Christ, God invites all to know Him and life. Yet, many are so mesmerized by the glitter of fool’s gold they reject the true treasures offered. 

For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? ~ John 8:36

One Life to Live

“You only live once!” “Go for the gusto!” “Get all you can, while you can!” Such are some of the common declarations we hear. After all, it’s all about [us], babes (so we are told). But what if there really is far more to life than mere stuff and fleeting pleasures? What if it’s not about us, and that we were to someday experientially understand Jesus’ haunting words, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul” (Mark 8:36, ESV)?

While the world uses “one life to live” as a declaration, the Bible uses it as a statement of caution. A psalmist lifts the prayer,

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. ~ Psalm 90:12

The writer of Hebrews warns, “And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment” (9:27).

The writer of Ecclesiastes had and experienced it all: wealth, fame, education, pleasures, luxuries, parties, etc. Yet, he found no fulfillment in any of these. After wasting so many years on himself, he ends the book with this:

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil. ~ Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

His point is not a warning of a capricious and vengeful God; rather, a relationship with our Creator and worshiping Him is the very purpose of our existence and what brings genuine fulfillment.

One life to live is all we have. Are we simply going to waste these fleeting moments on ourselves, or fulfill the true purposes in which we were designed for?

Be Still and Know

Be still, and know that I am God. ~ Psalm 47:10 (ESV)

We are a busy and active race, constantly on the move, either being productive or wasting time with meaningless pursuits and practices. The distractions are endless, but all of this comes with a price: missing the voice and knowledge of God. Creation declares His glory (see Ps. 19:1-4), and God promises to be found by those who truly pursue Him (see Jer. 29:13).

Turn of the noise and take time away from distractions. Be still and know.

The Detriment of Distraction

Ours is a society that not simply loves—but is addicted—to noise. From getting up in the morning to going to bed at night we are bombard with noise: Radios, podcasts, television, news, sounds from traffic, from the workplace, from school, and from people all around us.

Sadly, we are not encouraged to truly think for ourselves. News media, celebrities, politicians, and “educators” often try to tell us what to think and how to feel—regardless   how illogical. With the passion of a bushfire, but sometimes intelligence equivalent to that of a bowl of mashed potatoes. Yet, many will mindlessly agree.

Daily we are blasted with such messages: anyone who disagrees is  a bad person, hate-monger, racist; corruption and lies are okay in politics, these simply come with the territory; hypocrisy is only wrong in religion; truth is relative; those who hold to values are dangerous; because there is evil there is no God; humility is for the weak; do what thou wilt, let the chips fall wherever they may—THINK LIKE THE SYSTEM—DO NOT QUESTION IT. LEARN WHAT IT TEACHES; FEEL WHAT IT INITIATES (TO HELL WITH CONSCIENCE); BECOME ONE WITH THE SYSTEM. YOU’RE AN INDIVIDUAL—BUT REALLY YOU’RE NOT!

We have become so accustomed to noise and distractions that many people literally cannot handle periods of getting alone to think and ponder the deeper things in life. What should bring a measure of clarity is thought to be too boring and unnerving, instead. Many people do not know how to handle the combination of silence, stillness, and the triggering of their own thoughts. Furthermore, we have become so adapted to the system (i.e., the world) we do not even realize how much it seeks to manipulate us.

Let’s question the system for a moment and consider:

  • You disagree with persons, sometimes with your closest friends. Are you, therefore, a bad person? A hate monger? A bigot? Are your friends with whom you disagree?
  • Is lying and corruption to be permissible in politics? Do we not resent liars, thieves, and backstabbers when we find them in our midst? So why are these applauded in politics?
  • Why is hypocrisy only shunned when it is found in churches? Why is it not shunned in politics, business, schools, and Hollywood? Many claim to not go to church because of “all the hypocrites,” but the aforementioned have the church beat by far when it comes to hypocrisy.
  • Is truth relative? If so, then how can anything truly be right or wrong? If truth is relative, then all is mere opinion; and things like bigotry, slavery, and oppression are merely neutral. If truth, indeed, is relative, who is anyone to condemn anything?
  • Are those who hold to values (virtue) dangerous? Borrowing from the illustration of another, if you were walking a street at night, who would you rather see? A group of thugs who mock values or a group of people who try to live by values?
  • Because there is evil there is no God? If there is no God, then there is no Standard by which we can discern good or evil. “Good” and “evil” become mere empty words we assign false meaning to. If there is no God, then evolution might be true. If so, then we merely witness “survival of the fittest” when it comes to oppression—simply nature running its course (IF evolution was true).
  • Is humility a sign of weakness? Without humility we cannot truly show genuine respect to one another. Humility is required to recognize and respond to the value of others.
  • Do what thou wilt? This is precisely why our world is in the mess it is in—people living as they will, doing “what is right in their own eyes.” Every action has a reaction. Every choice comes along with consequences.
  • One other thing I will mention concerns slavery. Constantly media and education reminds us of the slavery in our nations past, and the evil thereof; however, for all the supposed hatred of slavery, how come there is not a unified outcry against modern slavery—human trafficking? For all the outcries against the oppression of women and minorities (which are the majority of the victims in human trafficking)  c there is relatively little outcry. Interestingly, some in Washington, Hollywood, and the sports world are known to have profited from slavery. Strangely, for all the outcry against the slavery of the past, too often a blind eye is turned away from today’s slavery!

If, indeed, there is truth to be known, is it good or wise to scornfully sacrifice the quest of it in order to indulge in our pleasures, greed, and pride?

The writer of Ecclesiastes, in his quest for happiness and purpose, indulged himself in pleasures, entertainment, work, education, prosperity, etc. He admits that in proper moderation many of the things he enjoyed are good—but not when they distract us from our deeper purpose. He ends the book with these words:

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil. ~ 12:13-14

The writer of Proverbs writes:

Let the wise hear and increase in learning…. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction…. Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the markets she raises her voice; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge? … Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord, would have none of my counsel and despised all my reproof, therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way, and have their fill of their own devices. For the simple are killed by their turning away, and the complacency of fools destroys them. ~ Proverbs 1:5, 7, 20-22, 29-32